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A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: Little lady is pulling herself up to standing on everything and so enjoyed playing with Nana this past week.

I am a little late to hop on the bandwagon as I meant to post my picture on Sunday but, better late then never I thought. This past week has been busy but, so very lovely. My mother-in-law surprised me by having my mom flown in for my birthday! It was such a marvelous gift and I so enjoyed watching my daughter play with her Nana.

Positivity in Parenting

The last two weeks or so I have been bombarded with a lot of negativity towards being a parent, particularly a mother. It has really hurt my heart and caused me a lot of sadness. So, I put it out there that I was looking for some positivity. I asked: What their favorite thing about being a mom was? OR, what was their favorite mommy moment? and I got some great responses. Many different moms, mothers of adult children, mothers of babies and toddlers, older moms, younger moms, grandmas. It was lovely. So, here world I'm going to throw you some positivity! I know there are definitely times I need it.

-The moment you go into your baby's room after they have woken up, the huge grin that spreads across their face when they notice it is you, mommy!

(I thought I'd add some pictures, just cause she is so sweet.)

-That triumphant moment when you successfully transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer using only your toes.

-My favorite thing changes all the time but right now my favorite thing is when Lars puts his lips into a kiss shape and goes "mmmmma" while leaning forward to kiss me. This usually is followed by a hug. Makes me feel so loved.

-When your child does something for the first time and they are so excited.

-I have many favorite moments but one has to be acting in The Sound of Music with all three girls. I was Marie and they were three of the Von Trapp Children. That was in 2000.

-I love the raw honesty in the things kids say and their wonderful observations about the world around them. if only we could bottle that up and keep it forever.

-I love going into their rooms at night, before I go to bed, and just watching them sleep. So peaceful and beautiful. Gives me a moment to reflect on how blessed I am.

-My favorite thing is the sound of her giggle. I love that I can make her laugh.

-I realize now that it is wonderful to have children who love me and are looking after my needs. I am glad I had them.

-My favorite thing at the moment...listening to my 2.5 year old talk I love his voice and hearing new words he learns; and when my 2 month old looks at me and smiles...best thing in the world!!

-Favorite thing, hugs whenever you want them, and the more kids you have the more hugs you get! Favorite moment? Every single one of those hugs.

-When I see my older kids being kind and respectful to each other/themselves/others I feel intensely happy about who they are becoming.

-I love seeing their perspective on the world. Recently, Heidi & Avery learned the song "The B-I-B-L-E" but Heidi changed the words to, "I stand up tall to hear the word of God." Which makes way more sense then, "I stand alone on the word of God," in her opinion.
Oh, and the baby smiles, they are the best.

-I am never good with picking favorites of any kind. I tell you some things that I love and loved. I loved the awareness when pregnant, that an individual, a stranger if you will, was growing sheltered and safe inside me and that the rest of my life would be spent getting to know this person and watching them become. I loved holding my child for the first time, and even more, seeing their daddy hold them. I love/loved those moments when as a couple, you share that oneness and pride/joy as you revel in your infant or grown child. I loved feeding kids food they love.

-I loved heating their towels in the dryer and wrapping them in them after a bath. I loved their clean rosy little faces after bath.

-I love going camping and adventures with them. I love taking them to the cabin in Salmon Arm. 

-I love meeting their different friends as they grew older and having them over. I loved watching them grow up, watching their faith and personalities develop.

-My favorite thing about being a mom is to see how both my babies grew into kind, compassionate happy adults.

We all have those moments where we get bogged down in negativity, in those moments it is nice to have things to look back on, those moments that lift our spirit. If we see things more positively difficult moments seem less difficult. Living in the moments, and being able to stay positive in the hard times makes for a happier me, happier Isla, and all together happier environment. I know that these moments and thoughts help me to have a more positive outlook. How about you? What are some of your favorite mommy moments?

Truth.

Yesterday. I was sitting in a group of women, completely dazed and rather hazy as the sleep deprivation was settling in. I turned to my friend and smiled, then she asked, "How are you doing?" sympathetically, as she picks up on my cues before I do sometimes and....I started to cry.

Truth. I am broken. I am exhausted. I am tired of being tired. I am NOT enough.

So often I've heard things like, "God wont give you more than you can handle." I think that is absurd. So often we are given more than we can handle and we have to humbly let go and ask him, and others, for help. So, yesterday I cried. I knew I wasn't enough. I looked into my sweet, sometimes stubborn, little girls eyes and knew that I couldn't be enough, and that is okay.

It is okay that my house is sometimes a disaster, that sandwiches are sometimes all I have to offer, that dinner isn't always ready at 5:00 and most often we eat around 6:45. I don't have to be perfect and trying to be is just too draining. Asking people for help is something that becomes necessary. So, after having a good cry and telling my friend how my once easy, sleep through the night baby had been rather hard and thought sleeping through the night was for chumps, I went home and talked to be hubby and told him I needed a break. We talked things through, and figured things out, and last night....my Isla decided to go to bed without a fuss and only woke up twice during the night.

Sometimes we need to confess we are broken, that we don't have it all figured out, and we are freed and lifted up and encouraged. And, as my friend said it, "You are now part of the mommy club." Thank God I am broken. Also, sometimes all you need is a good cry and a good friend. 

Giving Thanks.

I have grown up in a place where I always have so much to be thankful for, this year is no exception. I live a charmed life and God has poured his blessings on me, not to say we don't have heart-ache (we do) but, his blessings far outweigh the strife and struggles.

This year I am thankful for my amazing husband. He is such an amazing man, he loves me through and through. His love for our daughter is amazing. Watching him love on our child is the closest I have ever been to heaven. It truly shows me how remarkable we must be loved by our father God. He plays with her, he laughs with me, he fills my life with such love and fun. I am pleased to be able to call my husband and partner in parenting. I am thankful that I am his wife and he is my husband.

I am thankful for my daughter. That God blessed us with a child that we may teach and help her prosper and grow, and by doing so we too will prosper and grow. I am thankful that she is such a happy and content child, that she loves playing, lives for a good laugh, and enjoys people and snuggling up close to me. I am thankful that she is healthy, and that I too am healthy and have recovered from pregnancy easily without any issues.

I am thankful for her giggles, her smile, her growls, and pretty much at the sounds that come out of her. I am thankful for her curiosity, and her cleverness; I love that she excitedly learns and looks forward to trying new things. I am thankful that she is so very social and loves attention from those around her, and demands it if she isn't given it.

(the oh-so necessary photo of Isla) 

I am thankful for our amazing family. That they are so loving and supportive. That they care for us and lift us up in prayer regularly. That we were both given a loving childhood, and grew up knowing a loving God. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to be an individual and was not forced to do things because it was the "norm". I am thankful that both Ben and I had mom's and dad's that set a good example of parenthood and marriage. We are truly blessed.

I am thankful for our community. We have an amazing group of friends around us, who have essentially become family. They are fun, and full of love. They have loved on us, and on our Isla. They have opened up their home, and hearts to us. They pray for us, and listen to us, and they care about us. I am so very thankful that we have such amazing love surrounding our little family.

I am thankful that we have an amazing God that has showered us with love. We have been so blessed and I am in awe of how he has showed us how much he loves us. He has taken care of us and I am constantly thrown by how much he does for us.

What an amazing year it has been, so very filled with blessings. So much to be thankful for.

Wordless Wednesday.