Saturday, September 22, 2012


As I child I was always so excited to grow up. I would dream about my life, my future, how someday I would be taller and older, how someday I would be a wife, and how someday I would be a mom. I always dreamed about being a mom. I dreamed about the child I would have, what it would look like, what my husband would look like. How remarkable it is now, my life, where I am right now, is the stuff of dreams. This is what I wanted as a child, I always wanted this. I always wanted a quaint house with character, I wanted a husband who loved me so deeply, I wanted to grow a child inside me.

Growing. I have grown, I am growing, my child is growing. Yet, I am struck with how very fragile life is. I have already written my hopes and dreams on this child and it is only the size of a baseball. How remarkable life is, we all start out so small, so fragile, so easily broken, yet we are all so important and we all have a role.

As my body grows to accommodation this child I am continually reminded of how significant we all are. How even though we were all once just the size of a poppy seed, even then Jesus died for us. My child is already one of Gods children. How remarkably loved by God we are, we are all his precious children. We have all grown in the palm of his hand. He has plans for us, hopes for us, and dreams for each and every one of us. How perfectly loved we all are.

Monday, September 3, 2012


Today has been lovely. Quiet, easy, thoughtful. Today has been good. Today I layered myself in clothing pulling my shirts over the little bump that is growing slowly as the baby growing inside me starts to occupy more and more room. Yesterday was the first day I felt my bump and it felt like a bump and not just a little thickening. Just a small bump, growing a baby. Growing our baby. 

As I sat in my living room this afternoon, quietly enjoying the company of my hubby and cat, I found myself overcome with joy and had a few tears. I haven't really allowed myself to really enjoy my pregnancy yet. It has all been so very surreal and there have been small disappointments, and truthfully I've been scared of miscarrying. It was the first moment where it just felt so perfect and real. I was just so filled with joy and contentment I couldn't hold it all in and so a few delighted tears filled my eyes as I smiled over at my husband. It was a perfect day to end summer on.

Dear Baby,
We are so excited for you to join our wild and crazy life. You are so very loved and so very wanted. God is taking his time making you perfect and knitting you together in my body. You are the one God has decided we need in our family. We are so happy we get to be your parents.

Mom loves you.

(a small progression)