Thursday, November 10, 2016


Its been a while since I have wrote. Lots of things have happened. There have been many times where I have wanted to write, where I've tried to write, I just haven't found the words. Being a mother to two little ones isn't easy.

This year has been a year of transitions. 

In March Ben heard of a position within Young Life opening in Cranbrook, our home town, and after lots of prayer, talking to friends and family, having different staff members tell him to apply, he decided to apply. It was a fairly long process including several interviews. Finally, in May, Ben was offered the job and he eagerly said "Yes".

We originally were told they wanted us in Cranbrook by September, then August, and finally July. So we packed up all our belongings, said our goodbyes, and moved across the province. This was a very hard move for Isla as her entire world was in Nanaimo, she had friends, favourite places, and although she has traveled throughout BC plenty Nanaimo was her Home. She is not a child who is flexible to change, Calvin adapts quickly seamlessly, Isla not so much.

When we began to look into housing in Cranbrook we realized the rental market was pricey. We were looking at paying almost double for a comparable place. So after some thought, and a generous gift, and my parents offering, we decided the best plan was to stay at my parents while we put together the money needed to purchase a place.

As with all things, our plans are often not the same as God's. While we had intended on staying with my parents for four months or so - things changed. Rules and regulations around buying recently made it harder to purchase and now instead of buying this month, like we had originally intended, we are now having to wait another 4-6 months.

God loves to teach you, stretch you, and stop you from becoming to comfortable. Faith shouldn't be comfortable. Faith should push you continually.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure we will get what we hoped for. It is being sure of what we can not see.

I am sure that we will one day get a house. I am sure God will provide us a house, and although it isn't tangible right now, I know it is there and that we will soon have a place to call home.

Transitions are HARD.
Transitions cause growing.
And sometimes we are stuck in transition for a long time, without view of the end, or without knowledge of how to get out.
God is in the transitions.

And so we will wait, God's timing is perfect.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Calvin Part. 2: a birth story

December 31st, my mom had arrived the evening of the 30th and we decided to do a quick run to the mall to gather up a few more things before baby boy arrived. While at the mall we ran into some friends of mine and I remember saying, "I've been saying the second or later, but I have resigned myself to the fact that he is likely going to arrive on my birthday." Alastair's reply, "You look far to comfortable to have the baby tomorrow...nope it's not going to happen."

That was around noon, I had my midwife appointment at 2:30 and my mom joined me. We talked about when to call, etc. and she did a quick internal to see how I was doing. We smiled talk some more then headed home. I was in the car driving home from the midwife appointment and I had a contraction, still mild but there. Once we got home Ben and I took Isla to the park just down the street and walked around a bit, swaying with contractions. I remember thinking about how it was the last time at the park with just Isla, how the next time we went we would have a little baby joining us. I was excited, and emotional. As we went for a walk my mom puttered around the house getting things cleaned and ready. 

The next few hours are a blur as a flurry of things just seemed to happen around me I was so focused I just didn't have the capacity to keep track of anything else. I remember we got Isla all ready for bed, and I began to nurse her and while nursing the contractions intensified, and came in waves. I cringed as she nursed and I so wanted her to be done, my body ached. I wanted so badly to hold her and nurse her but, at the same time my body needed to focus on birthing my baby.
Once Isla was asleep we put on Netflix and watched a show, I can't remember what, and I would sway or rock during contractions. I remember someone posting on Facebook asking if anyone was in labour, about to have the New Years baby, I followed it seeing who was but never made a comment as I didn't want family or friends to know quite yet. We were supposed to go to a New Years party that night, my mom was going to watch Isla, but had obviously had to cancel and the hostess was told, she did her best to keep it under wraps as she knew we didn't want others to announce our baby's imminent arrival. At some point in here Ben and I realize that our pump doesn't fit the pool and poor Ben had to blow up the pool all by himself, such a good loving husband.

Time ticked on and at 11:45 Ben made to call to the midwives, my contractions were lasting a minute plus and were approximately five minutes apart. Of course, once the midwife arrives Isla wakes up and my contractions start to stall out. Ben went to tend to Isla and our amazing midwife, Rhonda, gets to work setting everything up. We had yet to get water in the tub, and I am waiting for Ben to get out of Isla's room, signifying that she is asleep. Ben actually ended up falling asleep, and I was stuck stalled. As soon as Ben got out of the room my body/mind knew it was okay to keep going and that Isla was taken care of. Right away I started contracting close and intense and I remember standing in the archway to the hall saying, "I want to go into the pool." So Ben set to work with the midwives, our second - Amanda - arrived by this point, and they filled the pool.

Getting into the pool was such a relief, from this point on I don't remember much. Every few minutes Rhonda would check baby's heart rate with the dopler, Amanda was sleeping in our case things went long and they would have to take turns, my mom was on a chair in our teeny living room and Ben was behind me laying across the couch. We'd sleep between contractions and once one hit I'd hold Ben's hand sway my head from side to side and moan a deep "Uuhh" (Once I started doing this I realized that this was something I also did with Isla when I was nearing transition). The lights were off in the living room with just the light from the kitchen creeping in, it was serene, it was quiet, I felt so very at ease.

It was around 6:00am that I felt the need to start pushing Rhonda checked me and said if I felt the urge to go ahead, about 10 minutes later I was actively pushing with every contraction, my mom was helping hold one leg, Ben at my head holding my hand, and Amanda holding my other leg. With Isla, pushing was hard, a chore....this time pushing was a relief. At 6:37 am on New Years Day, my little boy was born. Caught by Rhonda, brought from the water and placed on my belly. After making one small squeak he was quiet and contented right away. I remember asking if that was okay, I remembered Isla really letting us know she had lungs, and Rhonda the midwife that caught him telling me, "Yup, some babies are just quiet." 

Ben and I hadn't figured out a name yet, Ben said he had one but didn't want to share it until we were alone. Right after our little guy was born I moved into my room and relaxed in our bed as I waited to deliver the placenta. I was layered in warm blankets and my freshly born boy worked his way up to nurse. Shortly after the placenta was delivered, Ben and I in a complete daze staring at the sweet new soul that had snuggled in right against me, we had a moment. Just us. Ben said, "What do you think of the name Calvin?" and I thought it was perfect.