Saturday, October 26, 2013


Yesterday. I was sitting in a group of women, completely dazed and rather hazy as the sleep deprivation was settling in. I turned to my friend and smiled, then she asked, "How are you doing?" sympathetically, as she picks up on my cues before I do sometimes and....I started to cry.

Truth. I am broken. I am exhausted. I am tired of being tired. I am NOT enough.

So often I've heard things like, "God wont give you more than you can handle." I think that is absurd. So often we are given more than we can handle and we have to humbly let go and ask him, and others, for help. So, yesterday I cried. I knew I wasn't enough. I looked into my sweet, sometimes stubborn, little girls eyes and knew that I couldn't be enough, and that is okay.

It is okay that my house is sometimes a disaster, that sandwiches are sometimes all I have to offer, that dinner isn't always ready at 5:00 and most often we eat around 6:45. I don't have to be perfect and trying to be is just too draining. Asking people for help is something that becomes necessary. So, after having a good cry and telling my friend how my once easy, sleep through the night baby had been rather hard and thought sleeping through the night was for chumps, I went home and talked to be hubby and told him I needed a break. We talked things through, and figured things out, and last Isla decided to go to bed without a fuss and only woke up twice during the night.

Sometimes we need to confess we are broken, that we don't have it all figured out, and we are freed and lifted up and encouraged. And, as my friend said it, "You are now part of the mommy club." Thank God I am broken. Also, sometimes all you need is a good cry and a good friend. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Giving Thanks.

I have grown up in a place where I always have so much to be thankful for, this year is no exception. I live a charmed life and God has poured his blessings on me, not to say we don't have heart-ache (we do) but, his blessings far outweigh the strife and struggles.

This year I am thankful for my amazing husband. He is such an amazing man, he loves me through and through. His love for our daughter is amazing. Watching him love on our child is the closest I have ever been to heaven. It truly shows me how remarkable we must be loved by our father God. He plays with her, he laughs with me, he fills my life with such love and fun. I am pleased to be able to call my husband and partner in parenting. I am thankful that I am his wife and he is my husband.

I am thankful for my daughter. That God blessed us with a child that we may teach and help her prosper and grow, and by doing so we too will prosper and grow. I am thankful that she is such a happy and content child, that she loves playing, lives for a good laugh, and enjoys people and snuggling up close to me. I am thankful that she is healthy, and that I too am healthy and have recovered from pregnancy easily without any issues.

I am thankful for her giggles, her smile, her growls, and pretty much at the sounds that come out of her. I am thankful for her curiosity, and her cleverness; I love that she excitedly learns and looks forward to trying new things. I am thankful that she is so very social and loves attention from those around her, and demands it if she isn't given it.

(the oh-so necessary photo of Isla) 

I am thankful for our amazing family. That they are so loving and supportive. That they care for us and lift us up in prayer regularly. That we were both given a loving childhood, and grew up knowing a loving God. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to be an individual and was not forced to do things because it was the "norm". I am thankful that both Ben and I had mom's and dad's that set a good example of parenthood and marriage. We are truly blessed.

I am thankful for our community. We have an amazing group of friends around us, who have essentially become family. They are fun, and full of love. They have loved on us, and on our Isla. They have opened up their home, and hearts to us. They pray for us, and listen to us, and they care about us. I am so very thankful that we have such amazing love surrounding our little family.

I am thankful that we have an amazing God that has showered us with love. We have been so blessed and I am in awe of how he has showed us how much he loves us. He has taken care of us and I am constantly thrown by how much he does for us.

What an amazing year it has been, so very filled with blessings. So much to be thankful for.