Wednesday, December 5, 2012

My Hope has come.

I am not someone who typically looks backward, I feel like it just doesn't make sense when there is so much to look forward to. Occasionally though, it is important to look back to see how far you've come. That is where I am right now.

At this time last year things were pretty hard, we were going through lots and life wasn't easy. There were moments where things looked pretty miserable. Our love for one another was strong, but there was some brokenness inside both of us. I had just recently finished a job and was working a temp position with no employment opportunity on the horizon. I was so insecure and was feeling very lack luster. I just had no idea or direction.

Ben was dealing with final exams, and papers were stacking up. He was stressed and it really didn't help that it was looking as though I was going to be coming back home after the holidays with no job.

We were both hurting. I was crying a lot. I was asking God "Why?" questioning what he was doing in our lives. Was this necessary?  To be honest, I still wonder sometimes if what we went through was necessary. We learnt through it, he held us his precious ones. Hard things come, the world isn't perfect, even God hadn't planned for it to turn out this way but, with God's strength we endure and we grow. 

Now, a year has passed. We have such amazing Hope. God has given us an amazing gift and we are so looking forward to meeting the sweet child he is working to knit together inside me. God has melted my sadness, and even in the midst of the pain last year he was teaching me to cherish the moments. 

I pray that we will remember that time of pain and build into our child the lessons we learnt during the hurt. That we will have a great affection for the moments of bliss and cherish the small things. That we will rely on God to be our strength and also allow God to build into our child those same lessons, even if it means they too have to deal with hurt. That we will give our child to God and trust him to teach this precious one. 

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