Wednesday, March 19, 2014


One. (plus some, I know this is a wee bit late)

One year since my world changed forever for the better and my heart grew in a way I couldn't have imagined even possible.

One year since I watched the man I loved become a father and take on the roll with such remarkable love and pride. He was so taken by his daughter his eyes were misty for days, and he would just hold her and gaze at her, his heart was so full of love and watching him with our daughter filled my heart.

One year. I have been a mother for one year.

I will treasure this year forever. The biggest, most remarkable, year of change in my life and a first I will never again encounter. I have joined a new tribe, the tribe of motherhood. How special this year has been.

One year of doing anything to get a smile, or better yet a giggle.

One year of nursing and providing my child with nourishment.

One year of falling in love all over again, not only to my sweet daughter but to my husband as I watched him grow into his roll of father. Nothing is better then watching my husband nurture our daughter.

One year of diaper laundry and happily folding tiny socks, although I can't say I am close to on top of my own laundry.

One year of sunshiny smiles in the morning, as if to say, "mommy! I've been looking forward to seeing you ALL night!"

One year of Isla.

Isla. My sweet, affectionate, mischievous, strong-willed, social, clever, contemplative, happy, smiley, little girl.

To be a mother is such a deep connection, rooted in an almost instinctual love. When I see her, watch her, attend to her, it is as if I am doing all that to myself as well. She is such a part of me now it is hard to see myself without.

One year of bitter sweet moments as my tiny baby passes milestones. I draw in a breath of excitement and breath out a sigh of nostalgic sadness, oh how my wee baby has grown. Time passes so quickly, each moment is so fleeting.

I have been told that there is a lot to look forward to, and I have an understanding that that is true but, I also know that living in each moment and breathing each moment in is really what I want to do. Why would I look forward to the future when I am loving each moment in the present. What is at one point the future will eventually became the present and I can enjoy it thoroughly then. I don't need to hurry my baby, I don't need to push her to grow up, I would much rather watch her and learn from her as she observes the world around her and learns and grows.

My dear daughter,

You have taught me more in this one year then life has taught me in any others.

You are my sunshine.

You brighten my day and lift my spirit without even knowing, one smile, a giggle, a coo. You are a blissful interruption to business and a constant reminder to slow down.

You are spirited and spunky. The way you push your bedroom door open and crawl towards the stereo ready to dance, occasionally stopping to pull the diapers out of their cupboard, makes my heart sing. I hope you always enjoy dancing the way you do now!

You are strong willed and know what you want. You are confident. Don't ever let anyone make you believe this is a bad quality, it will push you to continue and give you strength when it is hard.

You are affectionate and nurturing. You give hugs so freely and kisses now too. You pat us on the back and when you see another baby crying you become very concerned.

You are mine, and will forever be. You are part of me and I will never stop loving you. You are written in my heart and on my body, you are my daughter and I love you forever.

1 comment:

Erica said...

So sweet Lainey. Such lovely words about motherhood too - thank you for the reminder to not wish the days away (though sometimes they are HARD ones!)It truly goes by all too fast.
Happy (belated) Birthday Isla! And, happy one year of motherhood Lainey!