Parenting and Instinct.

I remember in school often wishing that things would come easy, I'd watch my peers as they raced through schoolwork and wonder, "how do they do it?". It wasn't as though the schoolwork was particularly challenging, most of the time I understood it quite well, it just took me so long to focus and get anything done. It was that way with most things in my life, they just didn't come easy, things just were challenging. Peers were challenging. I saw my older sister make a great group of friends and I envied her wishing that would just happen for me, it didn't. As an adult I am still confounded as to how one really makes good close friendships. I was bullied, not to make light of it, so people weren't really flocking towards me asking to be my friend. All my life I so wanted something to just fall perfectly in my lap and just click.

Then something did. Something came to me and made sense to me, I got something and loved it, and I was good at it - for the most part. It's not that it was simple or easy, no it is hard, it's just that it came naturally - instinctively even.

Motherhood.

I am not one to read a bunch of parenting books, so I didn't and I haven't. I am a pretty easy going person, maybe sometimes too easy going, and so I kind of just let things fall into place. I figured out my rhythm and just did what felt right to me. I didn't follow what it said in a book, or a blog, I followed what made sense to me. Most people would probably say I fall into the method of parenting called "attachment parenting" but honestly I'd just say my method is instinctive parenting. It came as second nature to me.

I was that kid who played dolls. I named my doll, I loved my doll, I would go to the thrift stores and buy tiny little sleepers for my little boy doll. I played with dolls until I was about 15, and even after that I would occasionally pick up my doll and hold him in my room as I sat in my bed doing homework or whatnot. I dreamed of motherhood. I could practically taste it. So, once it finally happened....I wanted to breath in every moment. My daughter was held a lot, close to my heart as the rhythm soothed her. She slept in a bassinet in our room until she was seven and a half months. She was my beautiful. She was my natural. She is what I did well.

I am by no means trying to say I am a perfect mom, or that my way is the only way. I am trying to say that for once I felt at home and comfortable with my ability. I knew what I needed to do to take care of my little baby's needs, and I did it well and smoothly.

I am an observer of my child, I am a student of my child, I watch her and learn her ways as she goes about her day. I figure out her cues and I watch her take in and absorb the world around her. I don't dictate play or routine, I also don't let her parent herself, I just figure out her needs and her signs for those needs and meet them in a way that is natural. I don't push my wants upon her, that doesn't help anything as she is such a strong willed little lady already, I observe her behaviour and mood and set a pace that makes sense for the day.

She is my natural.

17/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: I love receiving packages in the mail, especially the ones from my mom and sister. Isla loves playing with the pretty paper they are wrapped in. 

Linking up with Jodi for the 52 project.

16/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: You love being outside. The moment the door opens you light up and a giggle pours out of you, eager to explore. 


Joining with Jodi for the 52 project.

Diapers, Rashes, and Why I Am So Glad We Choose Cloth.

When I was pregnant I knew pretty much right away that I wanted to cloth diaper. It was the least expensive option for us and with my skin being so sensitive I didn't want to put my baby in a diaper that would likely irritate it's skin. I did lots of research and I tried to figure out which cloth diaper would best suit us, in the end my mom decided to sew us a bunch of fitted pocket diapers and I lucked out. I was quite determine to make it work and we started Isla in cloth diapers a few days after we got home from the hospital.

I had some people that didn't think I would last but, my mom had sewn so many I didn't want to waste her efforts, and honestly I didn't find it to be much of an inconvenience at all. A little extra laundry sure, but I actually kind of enjoyed the diaper laundry, it was simple and small and cute.

I loved the diapers my mom made but I eventually found, as Isla got older, that I needed something a little extra at night. I tried stuffing my mom's diapers more but they got bulky fast. I eventually went to a local store and checked out the different options they had and picked up a few different diapers to try out, some bamboo prefolds, and a bunch of fleece stay dry liners.

I figured out which diapers I liked best for night time, which diapers allowed the most movement during the day, which diapers were easiest when we were out and about, and which diapers were easiest to wash while traveling. We got into a rhythm.

THEN...Isla got ringworm, and I had to start using a heavy duty cream that I couldn't use against the cloth diapers. So I thought, "hey I'll just start using disposable liners!", they are an easy solution for avoiding wrecking diapers and they make poop clean up more manageable. The doctor said that I should use the cream for about 4 weeks, the rash should be pretty much gone by two but continue to make sure it is absolutely gone. Seven weeks later Isla still had a rash, I was out of idea's and we had almost used up the entire HUGE tube of cream.
Okay.
Alright.
Try something else.
On to penaten. A week later it was looking a bit better but not 100%, and I was still using disposable liners. I was feeling pretty done and I so wanted to just have my baby girls bum feel better.
On top of all that I had done strip load upon strip load of laundry to make sure that if there was any bacteria on the diapers or any sort of build up causing issues, they wouldn't continue. After almost three months of bum rash, three days ago I decided to stop using the disposable liners and switch to a diaper friendly barrier cream. Um....I feel stupid, how did it take that long to figure it out. My poor wee child is sensitive to the disposable liners. Not to say she didn't have ringworm, I am pretty sure she did as her rash changed. I think that the ringworm got better but her rash never left because her poor bottom was reacting to the liners.

So, three days later and her bottom is almost all better and I am so thankful that we decided to cloth diaper. We have been so lucky to have it really cost us very little, my mom is wonderful and made most of them, besides that we were given a few from friends and I purchased just a few different things here and there because really, cloth diapers are so cute there are just moments I can't help myself.

If you have any questions regarding cloth diapering feel free to comment and ask them, or message me. I am by no means a pro but I have experience.

15/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: An evening just the two of us and you were being so sweet, so I let you stay up and and we sat in the back yard enjoying the last flicker of the sun. You snuggled into your blanket and tested out the grass with your fingers. It was a rather perfect moment just you and I.

Joining up with Jodi in the 52 project.

14/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: I left the door open to the bathroom for a brief moment and you ceased the opportunity to explore. You are full of curiosity and I so love watching you observe and examine the world around you, taking every chance possible to explore your surroundings. I love your curious nature.

Joining Jodi in the 52 project.

(I plan on writing a blog post soon, I just have been so busy chasing after this wee child of mine. Soon though.)