Friday, September 23, 2011

just some words.

Sometimes I feel like I have to have a reason to write other than the fact that I want to write. I sometimes feel like I have to have something smart to say or some sort of epiphany. I know it is silly, who has those kind of moments on a regular basis. So today I am writing because I want to write. I may not write something of meaning but, I will write.

I am exhausted, and have been for days. Getting back to routine is hard and has taken it's toll on me. I am sick with a cold. You can find me sniffing and sneezing while slowly piling tissues around me. My eyes are puffy, and rather itchy. My nose is redder than usual, which means I looks something like a clown. I am rather pale, I went from my normal eggshell color to an ivory. You will catch me blinking myself awake every few minutes. Yet, I am feeling blessed to even have this be a situation because a few weeks back I didn't even know if I had a job. So I am happily excepting this illness and trying really hard not to allow myself to get grumpy because in all honesty being sick is a good thing, it means I am back with the kids getting sick from them and getting paid for it.
I am missing my mom. She is super busy and has dove into a new thing and is loving it. I just can never get a hold of her and it is starting to get me. I can only go so long without talking to her, I will eventually go a wee bit crazy, lets hope it doesn't get to that point. 

We used to have such a hard time carrying a conversation because we were so similar we would butt heads all the time. Now though, she is probably one of my closest friends. Not to say we don't have a mother-daughter relationship, we do, it is just so much more than that. I miss her.

Talking about missing people reminds me of my girls. I've mentioned here and there about how I volunteer the an organization called Young Life, well I really miss the girls from my old town who I mentored and eventually built friendships with. I will never forget them. All of them have had an important impact in my life and I can only hope I've had a positive impact on their lives as well. All of them have grown so much and it has been a pleasure and a blessing to watch them grow from girls into women. 
I miss them. They are all so beautiful, both inside and out. I miss photographing them. Some have been part of my life for five years, some two, some less, all have impacted my life. Not only have I watched them grow but, they too have watched me grow. Many saw Ben and I's relationship go from friends, to dating, to engaged and attended my wedding. Some, are putting bets on when we will have our first child. I miss them, I miss talking about life with them. I miss hearing about what they are doing, planning, thinking, feeling, I miss them.
Happy Friday. Have a fabulous weekend. I enjoy writing about my thoughts and letting them trail off into words. Thanks.

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