Saturday, December 3, 2011

Some Truths....

Truth: Being married is awesome! Truly, I love being married and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have a loving husband who is completely taken by me and whom I am completely taken by.Truth: Being married is HARD. That is another truth and often times is forgotten or left out. Being married takes a lot of work and give-and-take, it is a constant work in progress. You can never just "get it" when it comes to being married, as soon as you "get it" you inevitably get hit with a hard ball of truth and you realize you never really got it to begin with. It is almost as though this ebb and flow of waves just goes through your life. Things start to get smooth, life is simple, and is not. 

These past few weeks have been a hard ball. Not to say I ever really thought I understood, I didn't and I still don't, it is just some truth: Life has been rather hard lately. I wouldn't say our marriage is suffering, but I wouldn't say it isn't either. We are in a state of discomfort and stress and it is starting to get to both of us. Well, starting is an understatement. It started a few months back, the mid to end of October. We have both been dealing with an immense amount of stress and we deal with it differently. It has taken it's toll. 

Our lives have been very 
segregated as Ben finishes up his semester, and at the time being that is just how it has to be. I am a distraction to him while he writes papers so I've been spending most of my time away from him, and the home. Most of my evenings I either spend at the gym or at Ben's parents place. Both are lovely and positive things and I really don't mind at all. I go to bed before him, I wake up before him, and I leave to work just as he begins to get up. Our longest conversations are in text message, and even those are pretty short. I just miss my husband and I look forward to things getting back to a somewhat "normal" state. (We really don't have a normal, things turn upside-down on us all-the-time!

Truth: Marriage is tough but it is definitely worth the work. Even though life has been tough and we have had to deal with some not so awesome things I wouldn't change it. It is our life, our story, our journey, and our marriage and I enjoy just being able to be his wife. Someday life might be a different kind of hard and I will look back on these days with fondness; Just as right now I look forward to those days with eager anticipation. I think of myself as lucky because, at least I have a partner through these tough times and I don't have to deal with it all on my own.

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